The Turkey Caper
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Morph attempts to save a turkey on Thanksgiving Day.


Title: "The Turkey Caper"  
Author: Pirate Turner  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Morph attempts to save a turkey.  
Disclaimer: Morph; Professor Charles "X" Xavier; Logan/Wolverine; Katheryne "Kitty" "Shadowcat" Pryde; Hank "Beast" McCoy; Rogue; Remy "Gambit" LeBeau; Bishop; Shatterstar; Nathan "Cable" Summers; Betsy "Psylocke" Braddock; and the X-Men are © & TM Marvel comics and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM Pirate Turner. The author makes absolutely no profit from this story.

The brunette walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the refrigerator. As he walked, he tried desperately not to allow his gaze to stray to the turkey in the cage on one side of the room. His shoulders heaved slightly as he sighed. He still could not understand why the Professor had had to buy a live turkey this year. Even though he was bigger than the rest of the turkeys on the market, wouldn't it have been easier, not to mention gentler, to have just bought more already-dead turkeys from the grocery store?

As he began to fill a glass with ice cubes, Morph's eyes strayed to the turkey. He couldn't help himself. His heart ached for the poor thing. After all, in some alien and even cannibalistic cultures, he himself could have been the one in the cage, watching people walk all around him while knowing that he only had a few hours left before one would kill and cook him so that the whole lot of those now passing by him could eat him.

Morph paused as he stared at the turkey. What was he so worried about? Turkeys had tiny brains, didn't they? With such a tiny brain, surely they didn't even realize what was going to happen to them? Even if that was indeed the case, though, did it make butchering them right or even the tiniest bit less wrong?

That was when the turkey spoke. "It's rude to stare."

Morph blinked, and his eyes grew wide as he stared even more intently at the turkey. "Didn't you hear what I said?" the turkey repeated, his feathers rustling. "It's rude to stare! You're already going to eat me! Do I also have to suffer the indignity of being stared at!"

Morph's jaw dropped open in shock. "You can talk!"

"Ah, yes!" the turkey exclaimed sarcastically. "Give the human dumb bell a prize for finally figuring out the obvious! Really," he continued, shaking his head, "and you think your species is the top rung of the evolution ladder. Well, I've got news for you, buster, you're on the _bottom_ rung of the mammals!"

"Hey!" Morph exclaimed sharply, red flushing his cheeks. "_You're_ the one that's going to be eaten!"

"Precisely!" the turkey gobbled. "When was the last time you heard of an animal kidnapping another animal and keeping them alive until they were ready to kill and eat them? Even if the other carnivores don't eat us all at the same time, they always go ahead and kill us instead of prolonging our torture!"

"But you're not being harmed." Never taking his eyes from the turkey, Morph reached out, grabbed a chair, turned it around, pulled it to him, and fell backwards down into it.

"No, not yet," the turkey agreed, "but I still know what's going to happen and that there's nothing I can do about it. How would _you_ like to be caged for hours on end, knowing you're going to be eaten whenever you finally get your freedom again?"

"I'm sorry," Morph spoke softly.

"Hmph," the turkey muttered, his feathers rustling. "It's all fine and dandy to say you're sorry, but I don't see you opening this cage!"

Morph shook his head. "It wouldn't do you any good even if I did. You could never get out of here alive."

In a display of pride, the turkey held his head high and stuck out his chest. "I'm not just any ordinary turkey, you know."

"I think that's kinda obvious," Morph agreed. "I mean, unless other turkeys talk, too?"

"Don't be ridiculous," the turkey gobbled scoldingly at him. "All animals talk, but I'm the only turkey that talks human English."

"How _did_ you learn our language?" Morph asked curiously.

"I . . . " The turkey paused before shaking his head and admitting, "I don't really know. I've always been smarter than other turkeys, and I guess I just picked it up along the way from all the humans I've been around before."

The turkey paused suddenly, and Morph's forehead creased with concern as the bird cocked his head to one side, listening intently. "What is it?" Morph asked.

"Some one's coming. I think it's the short one, the one I saw open a can of that stinky stuff some of you guys drink with his claws."

"Wolverine," Morph mummured. Sending a quick glance at the clock, he realized that it was almost time for the turkey to begin cooking, and he paled visibly. "Oh no."

"It's that time, isn't it?" the turkey asked gravely.

Morph nodded even as he jumped to his feet. "I can't let them kill you, not now that I know you can talk." He unlatched the cage and opened his hands to the turkey. "Let me help you get out of here." The turkey cocked his head, studying the man before him. He had never trusted humans before, but as the other human came closer, he realized that he had no other choice. He jumped up into the man's hands. Morph gently lifted him up out of the cage and then raced from the kitchen.

Just as they vanished out one door, Wolverine strolled in the other door. He stopped, glaring at the cage, as he realized that the turkey had somehow vanished. He sniffed several times, sorting through the various scents in the kitchen. "Morph," he suddenly growled out. "MORPH!" he bellowed. "I DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTIN' UP WIT' ONE O' YER PRANKS THIS MORNIN'." Although Morph heard his friend's bellow, he didn't dare to slow even a fraction of an inch.

* * *

"MORPH!" Logan raged as he followed his friend's scent through the halls of the X-Mansion.

"How does he know where we're going?" the turkey gobbled quietly.

"His nose," Morph replied. "He's better than the best hound when it comes to tracking things down."

Just then, a girl stepped out of the floor and rose to stand before them. The turkey's mouth started to open to screech in fear when Morph gently wrapped his fingers around the bird's beak. "You don't want to give us away any more than our scents already are, do you?" he whispered softly to the paniced bird.

Kitty looked from Morph to the turkey and then again to Morph. Shaking her head, she said, "I don't even want to know what you're up to _this_ time, Morph," and walked through a nearby wall.

"How did she do that!" the turkey gobbled, his eyes still wide.

"We all have special powers. She can walk through anything."

"What's yours?" the turkey asked Morph just as Logan again bellowed Morph's name. "Perhaps you could tell me later," the turkey hurriedly gobbled. "He's about to be on us."

Morph's brown eyes darted wildly around the hallway. "Can you fly?" he asked hopefully. When the turkey shook his head, Morph muttered, "Figures."

Thinking quickly, Morph began to change. His brown hair grew longer. His muscles and curves changed as his body transformed from man to woman. His faded blue jeans changed into a brighter shade of blue, and his boots turned to brown. His shirt's sleeves grew longer, and its color went from white to yellow. A necklace formed around his neck, and when he finished, Morph now appeared to be the identical twin of the woman who they had just seen. Just as Wolverine began to charge around the corner, Morph threw the turkey and himself through the wall.

Wolverine came to a screeching halt where Morph's and the turkey's scents last lingered. "Damn," he growled softly. "Kitty wouldn't have helped him, so where the hell did he go?"

* * *

The turkey gobbled wildly as he and Morph fell through the floors before Morph finally managed to solidfy them. "Sorry," he told the turkey as a few of the bird's lost feathers fluttered down to them. "I don't quite have the hang of her power yet."

"I can see that," the turkey squawked.

"Oh my stars and garters!" a voice breathed, and mutant and turkey turned to face a blue man wearing only a scientist's coat and goggles. Beast pushed the goggles up to his head, never taking his eyes from the turkey as he did so. "Assure me, my friend," he humbly requested of Morph, "that my mind is not merely hallucinating. I did just see and hear that turkey talk, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Morph agreed. "Can you help us, Hank? A turkey as smart as this guy shouldn't be ate, but I've got Wolverine hot on my tail and there's no way he's going to listen to me. His insincts are too much of a killer's."

"Of course I'll help you, Morph," Beast hurriedly agreed. "After all, I'd love to be granted a chance to study how a turkey can be so intelligent as to actually speak English. There's all kinds of tests that I'd like to . . ."

"TESTS!" the turkey squawked, his feathers standing on end and rustling wildly. "You can't let him use me as a guinea pig!"

"But it would be humane," Beast began to protest even as Morph began to walk out. He bounded quickly to stand between his friend and the door. "Morph, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for science! You can not . . ."

"Beast," Morph said, shaking his head disappointedly, "he's a living being, not an experiment. You might have experimented on yourself, but you'd be among the first to agree that living beings should not be experimented on. I'm sorry, buddy, but I just can't let that happen." With that said, Morph jumped upwards, sailing towards the ceiling and phasing both the turkey and himself as he passed right through.

* * *

Thoroughly exhausted from all the phasing, Morph leaned against the wall, panting heavily as he struggled to catch his breath. He did not know where Logan was, but he knew Wolverine was still hunting him and would not stop until he found him. "What am I going to do about you?" he asked the turkey.

"Find me freedom?" the bird asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Morph agreed. "I just don't know how yet. It's the most dangerous day of the year for you guys."

"I know," the turkey said, sadly shaking his head. "There's no telling how many of my family are being eaten at this exact moment."

"Yeah," Morph agreed solemnly. "It is lunch time, isn't it? I guess they can't serve the rest of dinner without the main course." When the turkey fixed him with a sharp, pained Look, Morph hurriedly added, "No offense!"

Just then, a sharp Southern voice exclaimed, "Morph! There ya are! Ya wanna tell me why in the heck ya've been hidin' the turkey! Pranks are all fine an' dandy until they get between me an' mah cookin', an' Ah can't cook dinnah until Ah get that bird back!"

"Oh, Rogue," Morph groaned, "can't you make do with the rest?"

"Without any meat! Ah don't think so! What's gotten into ya?"

"Rogue, he can talk."

At Morph's simple statement, Rogue burst out laughing. "A _turkey_ can talk? That's a good one, Morph!" she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

It was then that the turkey decided to risk speaking up again. "It may be odd, madam," he spoke respectfully, "but it is also true."

Rogue paled as she stared at the turkey. "Somebody else can cook that thang!" she exclaimed, shaking her head and slowly stepping back. "Ah ain't cookin' or eatin' nuthin' that _talks_!"

"I'll cook it, chere," a Cajun voice sounded from the other end of the hallway. Morph and the turkey looked in the new voice's direction only to find Gambit hurriedly closing the distance between them. "C'mon, Morph, give me de turkey, mon ami."

"Gambit, he talks! He's a living being! I'm not --"

"I could jest charge him up an' let him go boom," Gambit interrupted with a devilish grin and a wicked gleam in his red eyes.

"You're talking about a living being here!" Morph exclaimed even as he swiftly transformed into Kitty Pryde for the second time that day.

Gambit's shoulders shrugged underneath his brown, leather trench coat. "E'ery animal we eat was alive at one time or 'nother."

"But this one talks!" Morph exclaimed, phasing and dropping through the floor just as Gambit began to reach out with his power to the turkey.

* * *

Still carrying the turkey gently tucked into his arm, Morph finally stepped out of the last wall of the X-Mansion and into the fresh, cold air of the outdoors. He solidified before beginning to demorph, and when he was once more himself, he tilted his head downward to look at the turkey. "Do you think you could handle things yourself if I could get you to the edge of the forest?"

"As long as that forest is not on your home ground with the rest of those crazy mutants we've met together," the turkey gobbled. "I've always known that humans were crazy, but that blue, furry one and the red-eyed one take the cake!"

Morph tilted his head slightly as he examined the turkey. "Do turkeys like cake?" he asked.

"I don't know," the turkey gobbled in response. "I've never gotten lucky enough to get a piece."

"Well, maybe if I see you again, I'll have a piece I can give you. If I went in there for one now, we'd be too likely to get caught. Now what do you say we get you to freedom, my friend?"

The turkey's head bobbed up and down enthusiastically just as a familiar voice again bellowed, "MORPH!" Man and bird slowly looked up to see an angry Wolverine closing in on them from one side. Looking quickly around, their panic grew as they realized that Wolverine, Bishop, Beast, Shatterstar, Cable, and Psylocke had formed a circle around them and were rapidly closing in.

Just as the turkey began to gobble excitedly, pleading with Morph to do anything to save him, Morph began to transform again. Both his brown eyes and blue clothes changed to green. His hair grew longer, and his body again transformed from male to female. His brown hair turned to reddish brown, and a white streak appeared, running down the very center of his hair. Yellow gloves appeared on his hands as he felt sudden strength surge through his body. Just as the others were closing in, he flew up into the air and headed swiftly toward the forest.

* * *

The man that appeared to be Rogue finally landed in the center of a group of thick pine trees that stood tall and regal as their leaves reached for the blue sky overhead. He set the turkey on the ground as he began to demorph, and when he was finally his normal self again, Morph looked down at the turkey only to find the bird gazing up at him with such immense gratitude in his heart that Morph would be forever touched and never again be able to eat another turkey. "Thank you, my friend," the turkey gobbled. "You've given me hope that there is at least one truly good human being among your kind, and I will be forever grateful to you both for that and far more importantly for saving my life."

A geniuine, huge smile lit up Morph's face. "You're welcome," he told the talking turkey. "I'll never forget you, you know, or what you've taught me this day. I can't promise I'll turn vegitarian, but you can be assured that I'll never again eat one of your kind."

"Then, on behalf of my entire species, I thank you, mister . . . They called you Morph, didn't they?"

"Yeah." The man nodded.

"Thank you, Morph." A smile lit up in the turkey's wise eyes.

Silence reigned for a moment, and then Morph reluctantly said, "I'd better start heading back before they find me. Take care, and have a good, _long_ life. Best of luck!" They parted then, each heading in their own direction.

* * *

Morph arrived in the kitchen just in time to see the Professor wheel into the room, a look of horror on his face. None of the others noticed Morph enter the room as they were distracted by the Professor's worried exclaimation, "Where's the turkey! Rogue, tell me you didn't cook it!"

"Well, no, sir," Rogue began slowly, "Ah couldn't. Ya see -- "

"You couldn't?" Charles interrupted her. "Thank God!"

"Well, hum, actually," she said, "thank Morph. He's the one that stole it."

"Yeah," Logan growled, unsheathing his claws as he caught sight of Morph. "What did ya do wit' it?" he snarled out.

"I set it free," Morph admitted.

The other X-Men began to protest, but the Professor held up a hand, instantly silencing them without speaking a single word. After they had quieted, he spoke again, turning to Morph with a proud and approving smile, "Morph did the right thing. That turkey was a mutant; Cerebro just reported him."

"So that's why he could talk and was so intelligent," was the only comment Morph could think to say as the others stared at him dumb-founded.

**The End**


End file.
